Confession Time

Apologies for being such a dippy blogger lately. I’m trying to be more consistent but consistency is not my forte, working on it.

Anyway, time for some heavier stuff (which will be sprinkled with pictures of adorable baby animals because heavy stuff is gross). I’m not very good at opening up but here goes nothing.

Confession time, I’ve been in a huge funk lately.

the funk

(by the way, if you have not witnessed the magic that is “Old Gregg” you need to get yourself over to YouTube and watch it)

I don’t know why but all I know is that it is quite a stinky one. I’ve been super anxious lately and just really down on myself. I’ve been feeling pretty insecure lately thanks to not being able to shake my Christmas (small) weight gain (which is dumb, vain and incredibly counter-productive). On top of that I’ve been having some stomach issues with painful bloating, which doesn’t help the whole ego situation and is just all around annoying.

cute bulldog puppy

And in addition to that school has been really stressing me out lately. Even if I only have a single assignment due I still find myself all stressy and anxious about it. I don’t understand it because I usually have a pretty calm approach to school and rarely freak out about it and I’ve already wanted to pull my hair out twice in the past week. That stress turns into stress eating which only makes the above problem worse which leads to more stress and the nasty cycle continues.

two cute kittens

I’m just really homesick and a little overwhelmed.

two cute sleepy kittens

I’m not here to whine, because I honestly have nothing to whine about. I’ve got great friends up here, a wonderful opportunity for education and I’m still a very healthy person. But it feels good to be honest and it feels good to get things off my chest. My boyfriend did a great job of cheering me up last night when I was feeling extra funky and I feel much better today but the funk is still there.

basket of golden retriever puppies

I’m determined to pull myself out of this funk so here’s my plan:

  • For the tummy issues: I’m focusing on eating lots of plants and healthy fats. I’m (attempting, we’ll see how this goes) to cut out grains and dairy for a week or two and then gradually add them back in. I want to find out what’s causing the issues because I’ve been really good at staying away from gluten lately and I think this is the best way to isolate possible problem foods. It’ll probably be tough but I’m so ready for my stomach to feel normal again that it’s 100% worth it for me.
  • For the stress issues: MEDITATION. I’ve been doing it daily as part of my monthly resolution but I’ve seriously dropped back since starting school and have been doing a pretty pathetic 2 minutes a night. While I do think some meditation is better than no meditation I think re-devoting myself to a good 10 minute meditation session will be much more effective. I also think asking myself what I’m stressed about will help, because sometimes when I actually think about it I sometimes realize I have very little to be stress over and helps put things in perspective.
  • For the ego issues: I’m not setting a goal to lose the few pounds I gained over break. One that won’t fix the problem, the problem is my mindset, not the weight. Instead I’m focusing on nourishing my body with healthy foods, maintaining my current fitness routine because I’m really happy with it and incorporating some positive affirmations to get rid of that negative self talk.

That feels really good to get off my chest. I’m not good at opening up so this post was pretty tough to write, hence the puppy and kitty pictures, but I think it helps put things in perspective to put things out there. So I’m taking the leap.

And to end on a happy  note:

monkey and cat animal friends

I’ll be back to more normal upbeat posts tomorrow with a WIAW style recap of my weekend. Which was only funky in best way possible.

How do you pull yourself out of funk?

How do you cheer yourself up when you’re down? Phone calls to the boyfriend and lots of adorable animal pictures. If a puppy can’t make you smile then I don’t know what will.

Goals, A Challenge & Thankful Thursday

hello

New Year’s Day I mentioned that instead of setting typical yearlong resolutions I wanted to set of series of monthly challenges kinda like a 30 Day Challenge sorta deal. Well, I finally decided what January’s challenge will be (this is a big deal because I’m super indecisive):

Meditation!

I want to work on meditating a little everyday. I started on Tuesday and I’ve been working my way up from 1 minute, I’m hoping to add on a minute everyday until I hit about 10-15 minutes everyday, depending on my day is going. I’m starting slowly because I know if I start with the full 10-15 minutes I would get completely anxious over it and not do it. Baby steps rock.

I wanted my first challenge to be a meditation challenge because I’ll be starting my last semester of college and it’s bound to be pretty stressful. Some people get ahead in their coursework and have a slack senior year, I take too long to decide what to do with my life and end up with a jam-packed senior year. And for some reason I thought to put off my most dreaded class, Public Speaking, until my last semester. Genius Lea, pure genius. Anyway, I’m hoping that starting a meditation habit will help calm me down and not freak out over things like Public Speaking speeches and the realization that in 6 months I have to start acting like a real adult. Gulp.

I haven’t decided what I want my other monthly goals to be, but I’m trying to leave myself some wiggle room because I want my goals to match where I am in life and that’s pretty hard to predict ahead of time. But I’m thinking February might be some sort of organizational challenge because I’m a pretty unorganized and scatter-brained person and it’s starting to get a little ridiculous. And be glad you didn’t see the state of my room before I left for break, too little time + exam stress + disorganized personality does not equal a clean room.

So speaking of challenges…

The people over at Tribesports informed me about this awesome challenge they have going on right now. It’s called the Run to the Moon Challenge.

RUN TO THE MOON

Following Neil Armstrong’s death in August a Tribesports member created this challenge in memory of him. The challenge is basically to get to the moon! Challenge participants log all their man-powered kilometers (running, walking, cycling, rowing, etc.) until we reach 384,400 km, so far participants have logged about 46,300 km (including 5 km I did today!). The goal is to reach the moon before Neil’s birthday on August 5th.

I love this idea, it’s pretty cool to say you helped reach the moon! And if you’re interested in participating you can check out the challenge here.

And this leads me to what I’m thankful for this Thursday.

thankful thursday

(Thanks Jessie for hosting!)

I’m thankful for challenges. That might sound a little weird but challenges, both good and bad push me to work hard and be a better person. I love participating in blogger challenges because they push me to do things and make positive changes to my life that I wouldn’t normally make.

Conversely, negative challenges push me too. Let’s be honest, the challenges in our life can really suck, but they make us stronger and they’re part of who we are.

This is a pretty meager example but, today I found out I didn’t get an internship I applied for (I need a final internship this summer to officially graduate and get my diploma), it’s really frustrating because I didn’t get the internship because I didn’t have the skills, it was because I didn’t qualify because I wouldn’t be continuing school in the Fall (it’s a state government sponsored internship program, hence the stipulations), which I apparently missed when reading through the huge program brochure. It sucks because it was an awesome (and paid!) internship and I put all the work into writing multiple cover letters and applications. But, instead of letting this get me down I’m going to use it as momentum to apply for more internships.

It sucks that I didn’t get the internship but in a way I’m a little thankful because it’s lighting a fire under my butt to get on top of applying for other internships.

And because that was a lot of words…

Here’s a picture of a cute puppy to make up for it. Because I’m thankful for adorable puppies too. Thanks Pinterest for fueling my obsession with adorable puppy photos.